Highly successful people often try to distill their experiences into short form wisdom, and offer them to others. Some write books, some give talks, others mentor in person. Most of the time, this knowledge comes down to advice, or tips, on how to conduct one self in order to maximize the chance of success in a given field. Things like “meaningful relationships are invaluable for building and sustaining a culture of excellence”¹, or “goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like.”² But I think the wisdom communicated this way is not so easily acquired by others and integrated into their lives.

Wisdom that came from reflections upon one’s experiences carries a different weight from wisdom that came from a book. Even if the stories and contexts surrounding it are told, it still lacks the importance of being part of real personal experiences. A person who had been through a long period of friendless hardship, and was only able to turn his life around thanks to carefully cultivated, meaningful friendships may conclude that “meaningful relationships are invaluable”. This distilled piece of wisdom comes from a deep realization from within, from self reflections on life. Even if I had read the whole story, along with the concluding advice, but had not been through a similar experience, it is difficult for me to truly integrate this piece of advice into my life, the same way that the advice giver has done. Fundamentally, the process is the opposite of one another: the original person took past experiences and turned them into wisdom, while I have to turn the wisdom into future actions and experiences.

Of course, learning from others without going through the same experience is one of the unique ways that humans learn. This way of learning works best for concrete, physical things with an immediate consequence. If I see a person getting burned by a hot teapot, I don’t need to touch the teapot myself to know to stay away from it. This “wisdom” is communicated to and integrated in me completely, that is, I understand what it is in its entirety, and my future behavior has been altered immediately because of it. However, this method of learning loses its effectiveness with more abstract concepts, as well as things with longer term, less obvious consequences. The feeling of loneliness, and the incredible uplifting powers of a good friend in a time of need are not as easily understood as the sight of someone flinching from a hot container. Yet these are exactly the experiences that one need in order to truly contextualize and integrate the seemingly simple wisdom of “meaningful relationships are invaluable”.

I think this is a big part of the reason that the works by successful people to communicate their wisdom are usually not very helpful to others. Most people that read self-help books for example, even the ones that give concrete actions, do not really integrate the knowledge inside into their lives, despite knowing the words. There is a saying that if enlightenment were easy, then everyone would be enlightened. The difference between knowing what to do and actually doing something comes down to many factors, such as willpower and ability. But in my opinion, a significant reason for this is the loss in effectiveness of learning wisdom via shortcuts. Without the real personal connection, knowledge learned this way is simply less significant, less convincing, and less likely to be actioned. It seems that unearned wisdom is not only potentially dangerous³, but also less effective.